Tag Archives: intimacy

Make Love Not War: The Secrets Of A Successful Relationship

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The term ëmaking loveí has different meanings to different people. In general, in human nature, on TV shows and in movies, the term making love is used to define a tender moment of intimacy between two people. Yes, it usually indicates the act of intercourse, but it is supposedly describing it in a more substantial and meaningful way. The term making love is supposedly meant to imply something beautiful, something romantic ~ to create love. It is used to intentionally deter from giving the vision or thought of sex as being something obscene.

The term ëmaking loveí wasnít always used to depict the actual act of having sex. It was used to describe something more pure and even innocent. In the old days, the words ëmaking loveí were used to describe any romantic, intimate gesture. Something as simple as a kiss, a flirtation, an expression of devotion, or even a dance was defined as ëmaking loveí. Times sure have changed, havenít they? The days of wine and romance seem to be long gone, but for some of us, the words ëmaking loveí still hold a special meaning.

Everyone at one time or another has probably been told, or they themselves have said to another ñ Iím not just having sex with you, Iím making love with you. Of course, those statements are not always made with the utmost genuineness. It tends to give the term a bad name when used in those circumstances. But hopefully, common sense or gut instinct will let you know when itís not being said to you in all sincerity. If not, and you realize at a later time, chalk it up to experience. Live and learn, then move on and acknowledge the lesson.

But hopefully you have a partner who does acknowledge the significance of the words ëmaking loveí in their true sense. It should be an intimate and passionate experience. Making love, in the actual sense of the term, can be one of the most fulfilling exchanges of trust between two people. So choose your words wisely people, for tomorrow they may come back to haunt you.

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Bonding With Your Partner ñ Without Candles, Wine Or Lingerie!

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Summary: Many partners attempt to bond with candles, wine or lingerie, only to find their time together feeling flat, empty and passionless. In this article, discover what really creates bonding, intimacy and passion with your partner.

A journalist interviewed me regarding intimacy in relationships. One of her questions was, What are some of the easy ways in which husband and wife can bond – without a flower delivery, wine, candles, and expensive lingerie?

Easy ways? Well, it depends on what you mean by easy!

Bonding has nothing to do with candles, wine and expensive lingerie. It has to do with INTENT. In any given moment we are in one of two possible intents:

The intent to have control over getting love and avoiding pain

The intent to learn about being loving to ourselves and to others

Virtually all of us have learned many ways of trying to have control over getting love and avoiding pain. We learned these protective behaviors when we were children, and as adults we unconsciously continue these learned controlling behaviors, such as anger, criticism, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance. For most people, these protective, controlling behaviors have become automatic and habitual. As soon as any fear is triggered, we automatically protect against the fear by arguing, blaming, attacking, judging, shutting down, resisting, or giving in. In relationships, the fears of rejection and engulfment ñ of losing the other or losing ourselves ñ generally underlie our protective behavior.

In a relationship, if one or both partners are closed, protected, controlling, then they cannot emotionally connect with each other. No matter how much time they spend together with candles, wine or expensive lingerie, the connection will not be there when one or both are closed and protected. Ironically, when the intent is to get love or avoid pain, what we create is a lack of love and much pain. Our intent to control brings about the very things we are trying to avoid with our controlling behavior.

Our own intent is the one thing we do have control over. We do not have control over anotherís intent to be open and loving, but we do have control over our own intent to be open to learning about what it means to be loving ourselves and to others. However, it takes both people being in the intent to learn for partners to emotionally bond.

If both are open to learning, then they will be emotionally available to each other and can bond with a touch, a smile, or a kind word. Bonding has to do with the energy between them, not with anything external like candles, and the energy comes from their intent. A controlling intent creates a heavy, dark, hard, closed-hearted energy, while the open-to-learning intent creates a light, soft, open-hearted energy.

The big challenge in relationships is to stay open to learning about loving. Because we automatically and unconsciously revert to our protective, controlling behavior in the face of fear, being open to learning needs to be a conscious choice. Developing the ability to make a conscious choice regarding your intent is a learning process. The hallmark of higher consciousness is being able to choose your intent each and every moment, even in the face of fear.

When relationship partners are both able to reliably choose to be open to learning about loving themselves and each other, they create a sweet and safe environment for their love to flourish. Then candles, vacations, and lingerie can enhance their experience with each other and the icing on the cake.

Easy ways to bond? Staying conscious and open to learning is not easy! The concept is simple, but doing it is far from easy. Yet devoting yourself to learning to stay open to learning in the face of fear may be the most fulfilling and rewarding experience in your life!

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Five Tips to Revitalize Your Love VIBE

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You have the ability to radiate and revitalize your love vibe to attract more desirable experiences. When you feel loving, you will attract more love. Feeling good about yourself, attracts others to you.

1. Feel Motivated and Enthusiastic About Life and LOVE

When your energy goes into all of your relationships it makes it hard to focus on you and what you want to create. It becomes challenging to maintain balanced emotional, mental and physical health. When your energy is engaged in an unhappy or abusive relationship with a negative thinking or a mis-behaving person, you are vulnerable to illness and exhaustion. So much of your vital force goes into making things right that you become depleted.

2. Release Un-Wanted Thoughts

When you think about your past problems, your energy goes into them. Have you spent time thinking ahead of yourself into the future preparing, planning or worrying about what is yet to come? When you jump into the past or future events or situations it is difficult to appreciate and make the most of the present moment. What you think about; you bring about. When you spend time on unwanted thoughts or feelings it leaves less energy for you to just be.

3. Love Energy is Intoxicating

Can you remember feeling in love? Love energy is intoxicating. Access that intoxicating love energy to incorporate positive, loving feelings into your life. Connecting to a loving feeling creates a feeling of safety and support. When you feel safe, you release anxiety, awkwardness and uneasiness, allowing your natural sexual expression to flow easily.

4. Increase Your Vibrant LOVE Essence

Reclaiming your energy will not only help stop unwanted thoughts, it will also decrease confusion and increase your ability to communicate with your own inner voice. To reclaim your own energy from people, places and situations, visualize a shimmering golden sun above your head. Allow it to magnetically reclaim your energy from places where you left it. Then, with your imagination, bring the golden sun down into your body, replenishing all the cells of your body. Imagine yourself engulfed with this powerful, vibrant essence of YOU.

5. Revitalize Your Self ñ Any Time, Any Where

You can replenish yourself all day long. While standing in a stagnant grocery line, after a grueling energy zapping meeting with your boss or during a soccer game with the kids, you can replenish your energy. Revitalize your drooping spirit any time during the day or while practicing the relaxing exercises in this book. You can ëre-energizeí yourself as often as desired. Begin to feel lighter, more alive, relaxed, and calm as you reclaim more of your energy. There is an infinite amount of energy you can reclaim for yourself.

When you have more of our own vital energy in your energetic space and body, you build momentum and attract more of what you desire. With practice, your energy becomes more powerful and magnetic. Without effort, you develop clarity and effortlessly become what you want. Your natural effervescence will begin to bubble up as you release accumulated stress and radiate your natural sensuality.

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Do You Want Trust Back In Your Relationship?

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TRUST is hard to earn, but easy to lose. And without TRUST, relationships come apart quickly.

Trust is the belief that a partner has your best interest at heart. And it is impossible to have a healthy relationship without trust.

Trust is a two-way street. Trust involves telling the truth AND being open to hearing what a partner has to say. But, sometimes the truth can be difficult to tell OR hear. When this happens, trust gets damaged and must be repaired.

Relationships are important – without doubt, one of the most important things we have.

At the same time, relationships are difficult, full of problems, and hard to maintain. So, knowing how to rebuild trust is an important skill to master.

Why is it important to rebuild trust?

For starters, being able to repair trust is essential to keeping a close, healthy relationship. And close relationships provide many benefits.

Individuals in close, healthy relationships live longer and enjoy better health. This gain is undoubtedly due to the fact that people in close relationships have a built-in emotional and physical support system ñ someone to care for them and provide comfort in times of need. Not only do people in close relationships live longer, but they report being happier and more satisfied with life than individuals who have a difficult time maintaining a healthy relationship.

Having a close relationship also provides many tangible benefits. Sharing resources with another person is a great way to get ahead in life. Two people working together can live better than what either person could do on their own. When individuals find someone to share life with both people come out ahead.

Furthermore, people in close relationships also receive more social support ñ that is, having someone who is attentive to their needs and concerns. And having social support creates a lot of benefits. Knowing that someone cares, allows individuals to handle life’s problems more effectively. People who feel loved and supported make better decisions with less stress and anxiety.

Finally, having a companion makes life more enjoyable. Having someone to share lifeís little things, like walking the dog, watching TV, eating meals is important; it makes life more entertaining and enjoyable.

All told, close relationships provide enormous benefits to people who are able to maintain healthy relationships.

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