Men are often stereotyped as being ‘simple’ when it comes to feelings, but they are actually very complex creatures. Even though a man may be blunt with you about his thoughts and opinions, he may or may not be so open about his feelings – especially his feelings about you!
What’s worse is that men, on average, are generally more sensitive to rejection or issues of pride. So, when a guy is trying to hide his feelings about you, what he’s usually going to do is “play it cool.” He will feign and keep everything just a little too casual.
In a sense, this is his way of rejecting himself before you reject him. If you can’t pin down his true feelings or opinions on anything, you also can’t criticize him or push him away for being who he is. It is a safety mechanism.
As good as this defense is, though, some of his true feelings and intentions will “leak” through in his body language and when certain things he says to you just don’t quite add up.
For example, let’s say that your ex-boyfriend calls you up one evening. He asks how you’re doing, then almost immediately launches into a light-hearted speech about the ‘reason’ he called. His reason will usually sound very innocuous:
“I just wanted to get your opinion on something….”
“Just wondering if you know what time Mike’s party starts and who all is going? I think I accidentally deleted the email invite.”
He may genuinely want that information. The tip-off to his intentions, though, is to ask whether there is anyone else he could’ve called to get that information. Why call you to find out about the party, for example, if he is friends with someone closer to ‘Mike’ than you are? There’ll usually be an excuse for this, too: “Well, I was going to call so-and-so but her phone is not working. “
Either way, it is a positive sign when he chooses to call you for things like this. At the very least, you know that he feels warmly enough towards you to spend that time on the phone. He wouldn’t call if he were afraid of talking to you for more than a few minutes!
Let’s look at a few other tell-tale signs now. See if you can answer ‘yes’ to any of the following questions. Does your ex:
- Make sure to flirt/hook-up with other people in front of you in an attempt to make you jealous?
- Tease you and try to make you laugh?
- Ask you questions about your life in a way that seems like he’s ‘fishing’ for information and trying to determine if he’s got any competition?
- Stay near you at social events and generally express open body language towards you?
These are all good indicators that something is going on. The main thing to do is trust your gut instincts. Reach out and try to get him to talk if it seems like there’s something on his mind. He may not be willing to talk right then, but he will eventually open up if his feelings for you are still strong.