Getting over a bad breakup takes time. The longer you were with the other person and the worse the breakup, the more areas of your life that are affected by the separation. You may lose mutual friends, argue over finances and personal possessions and experience losses on multiple levels.

In order to speed up the recovery process, it is necessary for you to take steps to reclaim your power. We often don’t realize just how much of our own power we’ve given away in a relationship until things go wrong or a breakup occurs. A sense of personal choice is vital, though, if you are ever to heal.

First, you need to reclaim your space. Remove from your living environment any and everything that reminds you of the relationship.

Second, start setting boundaries. Does your ex insist on calling you any time of day or night to “talk things out” or continue his or her criticism of you?  This is not acceptable and you do not have to put up with it!  Set down the rules of communication with your ex in no uncertain terms and stick to them.

Third, assess the damage. Did your ex deal a serious blow your self-esteem and/or your trust in others?  If so, you might want to get some short-term counseling to put things in perspective and keep you from building up more walls around your heart.

You’ve got to let people in, even though you’ve been wounded in the past and will most certainly be wounded in the future. That’s just life. It isn’t fair, but there is no other way around it: you have to take the risk of getting hurt in order to heal the hurt.

If you can’t afford to see a professional, then friends and family might be a great support at this time. There are also anonymous forums and other groups available on the internet where you connect with other people who’ve gone through similarly bad breakups.

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