Monthly Archives: June 2012

How To Get Your Man To Pamper You?

Posted on by
Reply

To your surprise there will probably be more things that you may want to avoid doing to win the favor of your man to get a chance at the ìAll Might Pamperingî. In some cases you may want to avoid doing certain things if you want to keep him comfortable with pampering you. So that would make this article good for women who are getting pampered and those who arenít.

Try to keep it real with yourself and face the fact that no one owes you a foot rub, back rub, or what you may consider pampering. With womenís movements and the lack of chivalry in todayís society you are now being put on the level of being equal with a man. If youíre the type of woman that believes in women being treated as equals, the type that holds to more older traditional values, or you maybe the type that likes to pull either card when it is convenient (This is a major donít do). All this is totally irrelevant. Both types are now being treat like equals regardless of what you may believe or hold true too. So if your feet hurts after a long days work or maybe they just hurt from doing so much walking through the park or shopping mall. Guess what? No, one owes you pampering.

Communication is still the number one key. The problem I believe that most women are having is in this area. So that you can see if you are having problems with this I will first give you a few pointers on how to tell. Then we will go into some more ìDonítsî to help get you going in the right direction or to help some not run into problems and lose there quality time.

ï If the words ìDarling we need to talk.î make him grunt and groan like heís in pain.
ï If you where getting catered to but now its only upon request.
ï You seem to feel a little like you are bugging him by asking
ï Heís told you that heís not going to do that and why heís not
ï When you guys start to communicate it usually ends in a argument

One thing you should remember is you are not going to change a person. That is something that has to happen with in and with time. Being forceful and fighting will only drive him away from the issue even more and maybe from you all together. And finding a new partner that will do the pampering. Well, I can only say ìthe grass may be greener on the other side, but it still has to be mowedî. So when you do communicate try to keep it simple by using the OUR #1 RULE: ìSpeak to him as you would have him speak to youî. Men feel more comfortable in conversations where they feel respected or honored. For example: you have a women who is getting her ìhalf job foot rubî from arguments and beating him down with consent harassment. On the other hand you have a woman that is sweet and persuasive that is getting a awesome foot rub that could even lead to night out with the girls, shopping or who knows what.

My womanís girlfriend said she had come home from a long days work and asked to be massaged because her back and feet where aching. The response she got was his back and feet where aching also. So of course she got upset. I feel that if she wouldnít have gotten upset she may have noticed a light bulb turn on. Remember donít be argumentative but be persuasive. What she should have replied was ìIím sorry you had a hard day too dear, Why donít we both take turns rubbing each others kinks out and listening to those CDís that we both likeî.

If you are wanting to be catered to then you must be willing to cater to him also. Remember you are a equal now, right? First find out what he likes and how he likes it. Men love catering too. Matter fact there is not much difference between you two. You guys just handle emotions and life situations differently as well as communicate your feelings differently. But there is no difference between your struggles.

Donít over do it. Try not to get into a mind frame where it is expected or not appreciated because the minute he feels it is not appreciated or this type of treatment wouldnít be given to him since you guys are equals. The pampering my go right out the door. Barking out instructions during the course of the pampering like giving instructions on how to rub your feet while heís actually doing it is a major NO, NO. This should be avoided by letting him know when you guys do discuss it. For example: ìYeah, honey when you gave me my rub that way it was really niceî. Also try not to discuss catering too much. Even nice words spoken over and over are irritating.

Making him feel like he owes you for the breakfast that morning or something you bought him when you went shopping yesterday is a real big turn off. That could put a major damper on the pamper parade. In some cases you may be dealing with a different case and scenario then I have described and thatís ok too. I will now give you a helpful summary list that a woman can apply to win favor with her man and have a better chance at getting pampered.

ï No one oweís you pampering
ï You canít change anyone
ï The grass may be greener but it still must be mowed
ï Be persuasive and sweet, not combative and forceful
ï Try not to give instructions on the pampering during pampering
ï Speak to him as you would have him speak to you

If I could sum it all up. I would say that the main focus from here own out needs to be in changing you and your approach to get your man to participate in the act of you guys pampering each other. Have fun out there!

Get relationship questions advice, secrets to get your ex girlfriend back and get your ex back today by signing up to our FREE newsletter.

BROKEN TRUST!

Posted on by
Reply

BROKEN TRUST……ever been there?

BROKEN TRUST……ever spent sleepless nights because of it?

BROKEN TRUST……ever felt your stomach eat itself through the lining?

BROKEN TRUST……ever been so confused with what is real and what is not ?

BROKEN TRUST……ever feel like your entire world has just turned upside down?

BROKEN TRUST……ever feel like dieing?

If you have been there so to speak, then you know what it means to suffer from a trust betrayal, or BROKEN TRUST. For lack of a better word. It just plain SUX!

I want to say that we need to experience a broken trust in order to really be able to feel an unbroken trust, but this is not so. There are some experiences in life that no one deserves and dealing with a BROKEN TRUST is certainly one of the top ten.

Some people go through their lives never experiencing the feelings of betrayal or deception or a BROKEN TRUST. For them life is always good and on an even keel. They cannot even imagine what others, that have had even one of those experiences, is feeling or trying to explain.

Have you ever just been totally blinded by your affection with another that you over look every warning sign.? Have you caught a glimpse of a warning sign, and when confronting your partner about it, you believe them after some discussion, but still have a lingering feeling of doubt? Have you ever came upon warning signs that are as real as your hand and when you tried to question them about it, you were made to feel like you were doing something wrong even thinking that they had anything to do with it, yet in your guts you could not feel that you were wrong?
Have you ever brought solid issues up to your partner, because you just need to know, and all they do is get angry and accuse you of not trusting them?

In all these scenarios, the partner being confronted is either guilty, or not.
They could be guilty but with an honest excuse. They could be very good at playing the reverse the attack game, making you feel like you are the wrong doer in the end. Or they just plain pretend that they have no clue what you are talking about and ignore it altogether, again making you out to be the problem if you persist to question.
When you love someone, it does not mean that you should turn a blind eye and agree with their every thought or decision. You, as your own person have choices. If you feel threatened or betrayed, you have the right to clear up those feelings.

Just because you question your partner about an issue does so not mean that you lack TRUST or LOVE. Matters of the heart are very tricky to deal with. One can become very defensive and take any question as a personal attack. That is why emotional wars in any relationship are so draining and confusing.

No one wants to mistrust their partner, but what is one to do when certain signs keep coming up time and time again? Love is only so blind. Some people go through life succeeding in their game of denial or turning the tables to suit themselves. Those types are the hardest people to deal with in a relationship. Eventually you are always the one that ends up feeling hurt and accused of not trusting.. Not only hurt by what you feel is wrong but also, you feel defeated in what you feel and believe is right. Because of your love for your partner and the desire to keep things happy, you stay quiet and try to “Let it go”. Then you find yourself mistrusting even more because you are forced to decide about things in your own mind, for fear of being wrong again. This is where a communication break down occurs between two people in a relationship. Once that happens, both parties are on separate roads going separate places and sometime never ever meeting on the same road again.
If you are any of these personalities listed above and you care about your partner, then you must not let communication fall to the way side. Also you must not take it as a personal attack, but more of a person crying for help. It is them that is suffering from a BROKEN TRUST and they are in need of your patience and understanding. They are not enjoying their torture at all. In some ways they are trying to share the pain with you. I know that sounds a bit confusing , but to be human is to be a confusion.
Life can be so good when we have no BROKEN TRUST issues to deal with. Also we need to respect one another and not add to the confusion of a “Normal” relationship by deceiving or belittling our partner. Relationships are at thier best when both partners are at peace and respect one another!

Some hurts cannot be repaired,

but at least they not need be endured alone!

Learn how to get my ex boyfriend back, free and crucial instructions to save your marriage by signing up to our FREE newsletter.

How to Move on from a Bad Breakup

Posted on by
Reply

Getting over a bad breakup takes time. The longer you were with the other person and the worse the breakup, the more areas of your life that are affected by the separation. You may lose mutual friends, argue over finances and personal possessions and experience losses on multiple levels.

In order to speed up the recovery process, it is necessary for you to take steps to reclaim your power. We often don’t realize just how much of our own power we’ve given away in a relationship until things go wrong or a breakup occurs. A sense of personal choice is vital, though, if you are ever to heal.

First, you need to reclaim your space. Remove from your living environment any and everything that reminds you of the relationship.

Second, start setting boundaries. Does your ex insist on calling you any time of day or night to “talk things out” or continue his or her criticism of you?  This is not acceptable and you do not have to put up with it!  Set down the rules of communication with your ex in no uncertain terms and stick to them.

Third, assess the damage. Did your ex deal a serious blow your self-esteem and/or your trust in others?  If so, you might want to get some short-term counseling to put things in perspective and keep you from building up more walls around your heart.

You’ve got to let people in, even though you’ve been wounded in the past and will most certainly be wounded in the future. That’s just life. It isn’t fair, but there is no other way around it: you have to take the risk of getting hurt in order to heal the hurt.

If you can’t afford to see a professional, then friends and family might be a great support at this time. There are also anonymous forums and other groups available on the internet where you connect with other people who’ve gone through similarly bad breakups.

Learn get him back, learn how to win your ex back and save my marriage instructions by signing up to our FREE newsletter.