None of us get married with the thought that someday we are going to end up divorced. As a matter of fact, the day of our marriage is typically one of the happiest in our life. That is why it comes as such a shock to people when suddenly they find themselves in a situation where their marriage is crumbling around them and it seems that the only way out is to watch it dissolve in front of their very eyes. If you find yourself in this situation, don’t feel as though you have no other option. The fact of the matter is, it is usually easier to save the marriage than it is to get rid of it.
The first thing that you need to do is to make sure that both you and your spouse are willing to work together on the situation and to see it through to fruition. More than likely, there are some very hurt feelings for one reason or another and it can be difficult for you to really focus on the matter at hand. Instead of allowing these things to get in the way, write them down on a piece of paper whenever they come up and look at them in a couple of hours. Typically, you will find that it is not as important as what you thought it was at that moment.
The simple fact of the matter is, all of us change over time and it is typical for us to grow apart at some times instead of growing together. Whenever this is the case in your marriage, it is going to take work on both of your parts in order to meet in the middle again. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. Take a little time to write down everything that there was about your marriage mate which made you fall in love with them in the first place. On the other half of the paper, write down the same traits and where they are today. This is typically an eye-opening exercise.
It may also be possible that you are not able to solve the problem between the two of you and you’re going to need to recruit some outside help. Instead of feeling is if you failed whenever you reach this situation, think of it as taking another step forward in your relationship. Many people forego counseling, simply because they feel as though they are strong enough to take care of things themselves. Don’t feel the same way because a counselor can do a lot to help you to identify things between the two of you that you may not have been able to identify yourself.
It can often be difficult to save a marriage but it certainly is not out of the question if both of you are willing to work at it. Be determined from the very start that you’re going to be persistent and that you’re going to be kind to one another along the way. Each of those will produce good results in the end.