Monthly Archives: October 2011

What Do You Do If Your Wife Has Left You?

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It usually happens suddenly and it may be something that we did not see coming, even though it has been coming for quite some time. It usually results because somebody said something or did something that was hurtful and it was just the final straw. Before you know it, you’re standing alone and your wife has left you. If you find yourself in this situation, a million different things may be running through your mind. Don’t allow yourself to give in to despair, however, because it is possible to heal a relationship even if it seems as if it is at the breaking point.

The first thing that you need to do is to really get to the bottom of what happened between the two of you that got it to this point in the first place. Perhaps you are thinking that it is only one event that really triggered the entire problem but more than likely, you’re not looking deep enough below the surface. Try to really step outside of the situation and look at it from that perspective. You will often begin to see little things that were done over the course of time which may have festered under the surface without really being recognized by either of you. Eventually, it reached the boiling point and that is what left you standing where you are today.

Fortunately, most people are not willing to throw away a marriage because things seem to be going in the wrong direction. It is often easier to fix a broken marriage than it is to kick it to the curb and to totally ignore it. I’m not saying that it is going to be easy for you to fix a marriage that is at the breaking point but I am saying that if you work on it, you can usually repair any damage that was done and come out stronger on the other side as a result.

The first thing that you’re going to need to do is to discuss the situation with your wife. This can be a difficult thing to do because by this point, emotions tend to be running pretty high. It is imperative that you keep your cool throughout the entire discussion and that you don’t do any finger-pointing along the way. Instead of trying to prove your point to your wife, listen to what she has to say and really discern what is going on underneath the surface. This is the only way that you’re going to see clearly what needs to be done to save your marriage.

It may also be necessary for you to bring in a third-party, usually a marriage counselor in order to discuss the situation. Instead of looking at this as a violation of trust between the two of you, look at it as an opportunity to hear what your wife is really saying and to allow her to hear what you have to say as well. If you work together on the situation, it certainly is possible for a healing to take place.

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Are You Being Disrespected By Your Mate?

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There is a trap that many of us fall into because for the most part girls are socialized to be sweet, accommodating, passive, well-mannered etc. When we grow up and get into relationships, many of us don’t really know what to do in response to disrespect.

It’s a little like we’re frozen. Shocked. Disappointed. Now What? Well, there is a % of women who will not put up with any form of disrespect in their relationships. One incident and they bail. Probably a good idea.

But then there is the rest of us – who either get temporarily outraged or upset, but like a bitter pill – we swallow it and move on. This is NOT a good idea.

No matter how many partners you may meet in your lifetime, there should always be at least one requirement – that you are treated with respect from day one until the end.

Look for areas of respect when…

1. You are intimate. He should respect your likes and dislikes.

2.You are talking to each other. He shouldn’t speak to you like an angry dad or like you’re an idiot.

3. You are arguing. Even in the heat of battle, you shouldn’t be disrespected. If it gets that heated – someone should walk away.

4. He is around your friends and family. If he doesn’t treat your friends/family with respect, then he doesn’t respect you. They are an extension of you.

5. You are ending it. Even if the relationship is over and there are hurt feelings – he should have enough respect for what you did share to end it or accept the end with class.

Quick Tip: You teach others the amount of respect they will pay you. Even your worst enemy will respect you if you demand it. Demand what you are worth everyday.

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You Love Them Because They’re Funny!

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For years I heard woman after woman say after obviously falling in love, “He’s so funny! I just love that about him.”

Often after someone has lost a family member, they’ll say “I’ll always remember her smile, the way she laughed, the little jokes she would tell to lighten the mood.”

Could it be we love people who have a great sense of humor? I’ve always thought so. And now we have scientific proof of what many of us long suspected. Humor is one of the things we enjoy most about life and, frequently, the people we love are the ones who make us smile.

Fortunately for those of us who probably aren’t that funny, humor is most often in the eye of the beholder. The guys at work may not laugh at your wise cracks, but if SHE laughs, well that’s all that matters.

For a long time, nobody in the scientific world knew much about humor. But during the past 20 years, more and more research has been done. We know what parts of our brains deal with humor. We also know when a baby starts to develop a sense of humor.

So don’t hesitate. Let your funny bone show through!

* When you think something is funny, don’t be afraid to let it out. Just think first if your remark might be taken the wrong way by those in earshot. Humor is great — foot-in-mouth is less great.

* Use humor to ease uncomfortable situations. When the mood starts to get tense, an appropriate chuckle and humorous side remark can get everyone back on track.

* If you’re not naturally funny, read cartoons, joke books, the laugh lines at the back of Reader’s Digest, and pay attention to how script writers set up funny situations on TV. You CAN learn to be more humorous than you are. Pay attention to humor and your sense of humor will develop.

Above all else, be someone who APPRECIATES humor. Try not to make someone feel bad when you don’t find their attempt at humor to be all that funny. As long as the humor isn’t in grossly poor taste, give your humorist a smile. And be one who isn’t afraid to chortle and guffaw when someone really pushes your funny button. A good laugh can be the best medicine you’ve had all day.

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