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Why Relationships Are Difficult

Do you remember when you were young and your sister or brother wanted the same toy you had in your hands?

Do you remember when you were a bit older and there were fights over who gets to take the car that night? Do you remember interviewing for your first job and wanting to blow away the competition?

Do you remember getting into an argument with your spouse over the name of your first child?

We are naturally selfish creatures and we all want what we want, when we want it. We are taught early on and very often that we can’t always have what we want when we want it, but the natural tendency will always be there.

We are also naturally all about surviving. It begins at conception, taking what we need to survive. Getting out of the womb and demanding what we need to survive. Society again teaches us to be more civil about getting what we need, but again that natural tendency is there, to survive.

On the opposite side of that we are also very social people. We don’t like to be alone and we are always, especially today, in constant contact with loved ones, or for business. So we are also naturally social beings.

magic of making up

We are also programed to want to pro-create. In order for us to populate our planet we have to continue to have babies. This means we have a natural tendency to pair off to do just that.

So how does all of that apply to, why relationships are difficult?

Well, let’s look at this for a minute, whether it is a friendship, a business relationship, a family relationship or a romantic relationship there are two people who are naturally selfish and in survival mode, but who also want to be around each other. It makes it awfully hard to deal with those tendencies with in each individual let alone putting two or more together.

Think about it, I want to date the same girl/boy my friend likes, but he/she is my friend and I don’t want to make them mad. But I really want to date him/her. Or in the business world two people want the same project, but know only one of them can have it. So they compete to then end, but then still have to deal with each other no matter who gets it.

Then separate out the romantic relationship and you have to toss in the procreating aspect as well. You have a man and woman, who want to be together and love each other, but they also want what they want, and that creates stress in the relationship.

Now they are going to add a baby into the mix, who wants what they want and will get it over both partners in the relationship, creating even more stress.

We all have conflicts within ourselves, and then we want to interact with others who have their own conflict going on and try to mesh those to people into friends, business associates, or partners.

And we wonder why relationships are difficult.

connect and commit

connect and commit

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