Save Your Relationship

Ways to Save Your Relationship

Every marriage goes through highs and lows, but if your marriage seems to be on the eternal path of a low then your marriage might be in trouble. And depending on how long your marriage has been in trouble will depend on how close to divorce your marriage is.

The question is how do you feel about that? Do you want to be married? If you feel your marriage is on the brink of disaster, meaning divorce, but you want to prevent that from happening, then keep reading, to find out how to prevent divorce.

When your spouse has begun to pull away, and is talking about separation or divorce you have to be very careful about how to handle the situation. Most people handle it the worst possible way by trying the following strategies:

1. Reassurance – In trying to reassure your spouse that you have changed, that you won’t do a specific behavior you are drawing attention to the reason(s) they are considering divorce in the first place. Big mistake!

2. The “I love you” overkill – Telling your spouse over and over again that you love him or her will never work. It ends up sounding more like nagging than sincere.

3. Arguing – Our natural reaction is to try to sway a person to our side of the fence. But by arguing that your side is better you are essentially telling them they are wrong. And who wants to think they are wrong?

4. Pessimism – It is so much easier to be negative than it is to be positive. So you have to force yourself to be optimistic. Don’t assume your marriage has not chance until the divorce papers are sitting in front of you.

That covers the definitely don’t do end of things, let’s look at the dos of how to prevent divorce:

1. Stop adding to the pressure – Believe it or not even the spouse asking for the divorce is under an extreme amount of pressure. So stop complaining and stop criticizing and back off. Show him or her you are willing to give them the space to think and with less pressure maybe decide this is not what they want.

2. Agree – Once your spouse has made the mental decision to get the divorce, he or she has closed off their minds to anything else. So by disagreeing you are just showing him or her that they made the right decision. And they will just dig in their heels even more.

“Yes, this marriage is a disaster.”

“Yes, you are right, you can’t trust me.”

Validate their feelings, don’t try to defend yourself, and be sincere.

3. Act happy – Give them whatever they want and be perfectly happy about it. This will again, take off some pressure. And the name of the game is showing him or her that you have no intention of pressuring them in any way. If you have to call, make small talk, no serious conversations. Keep it light and happy.

There are no guarantees here, but avoid the strategies we discussed and utilize the other ones and you may have a shot at preventing divorce.