Save Your Relationship

Ways for Resolving a Midlife Marriage Crisis

Every person in a marriage hits a wall and when he or she hits that wall the questions start coming. Did I marry the right person? Can I stay married to this person for the rest of my life?

And a lot of times the questions come as a person reaches midlife. Midlife is a time when most people tend to take stock of their lives, and not just their marriage but also everything else in their lives. Have they done everything they wanted to do?

All of this is very normal and does not mean you are unhappy or not going to stay married. It is completely possible for a marriage to not only survive a midlife marriage crisis, but to end up stronger on the other side.

So go ahead take a look at where you are and really looking at how you are living. How you are feeling can be coming from a number of places. It could be because you are not happy with your job, or perhaps you thought you would be traveling more by now. It might have nothing to do with your spouse at all, but because he or she loves you and puts up with you, you may be taking your frustrations out on them.

Take the time to sit down and put a list together of everything that makes you happy and everything that makes you unhappy, in your life right now. It is certainly possible that your significant other does land on your unhappy list, but that does not mean divorce is eminent.

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Now that you have this list you need to look at it and figure out why those things make you unhappy. Specifically what about your partner makes you unhappy? Is it something he or she can change? Is it something you can live with/ignore?

Is he or she basically the same person you married or have they become someone else? Just taking a look at what is really bothering you, you might just realize things aren’t so bad, or at least give you a place to begin.

Another important thing to remember is that although you may be the one going through the midlife marriage crisis, it affects both partners. Talk to your spouse about what is going on with you. He or she may have similar concerns.

Or your partner may be able to help you talk it through. What is important to remember is to steer clear of blaming, because that is counterproductive and you will end up fighting instead of finding solutions. If things do get heated you need to take a break and agree to discuss the issues at a later time.

A marriage going through a midlife marriage crisis can come out on top if both parties take it as just another one of life’s obstacles, meaning something to overcome, not something that will destroy. Take the time to figure it all out now, so that it doesn’t creep back up in a month from now, or six months from now. You can overcome this and come out stronger on the other side.

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