Save Your Relationship

The Secret of How to Change Your Marriage

If you and your spouse are having troubles and you are at your wit’s end, you are not alone. There are many couples struggling with similar issues. What makes things even more challenging is if one partner has no idea what is wrong with the other.

If the communication has broken down and you don’t know if it is work or if it is something between the two of you. The unknown can be the hardest spot to be in, in a relationship.

When the unknown occurs, many people panic and end up divorced or worse yet they do nothing, living in the abyss, the unknown and neither place is good.

Divorce means you ended up giving up before trying anything and living in the abyss means you are afraid if you push you may end up divorced. Neither solves the problem and you are left wondering could I have changed my marriage?

The answer to the question is yes, there is a secret about how to change your marriage. But before we talk about that I want to look at what we do that will not change anything. Many times the person who is stuck in the unknown tries to force his or her partner to change.

They may try to get out of their partner what is wrong or wish on the stars that he or she will see the error of his or her ways. Basically, the person tries to change their partner. What they need to realize it that we can’t make someone change. We can’t force the changes we want on them.

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Here is where the secret of how to change your marriage comes into play. You cannot change your partner, but you can change yourself. That is the secret, you must change who you are, to be someone you are not, but to be a better you.

After having children I was depressed, didn’t care about how I dressed and was in total survival mode. Then I noticed things in my marriage were beginning to fall apart. I wanted my husband to stop traveling and be home. I cried because my son wouldn’t nap when I wanted him to. I wanted to change everything I had no control over.

When I finally stopped looking outward and began looking inside myself I realized I needed to work on things I had control over and the only thing we really have complete control over is ourselves.

So, I began exercising, dressing in a way that made me feel sexy, started getting more sleep (when I could), and in general just taking better care of me. I stopped fighting with my husband about changing jobs. I stopped trying to force a child to nap. I stopped trying to control the world and just focused on me.

Once I really let go of the things I could not control those things started to get better on their own. My husband really focused on getting a job with less travel on his own. My son didn’t nap but went to bed by 8:00pm and slept through the night. It is all about changing what you have control over and letting the rest take care of itself.

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