Simple Steps to Save My Marriage & Relationship
Marriage is a beautiful yet challenging aspect of humanity. The merging of male and female to create one unified
life is a balancing act which is not easily learned.
If you are in a place of distress with your spouse, follow these simple steps to save my marriage &
Step 1: Embrace Your Sexes
According to Dr. Laura Schlessinger who wrote The proper Care & Feeding of Marriage; “Marriages are not
business arrangements of coworkers or co-owners. Marriages are the joining of two minds, bodies, souls, spirits,
hopes, dreams, needs, personalities, and different genders.”
She goes on to express the common issue with male/female roles today and how modern society has created a rift
between genders through the need for equality. While it is unimportant what career paths couples have chosen or who
is responsible for household duties, what is important is the adoration of the partners’ gender.
The focus on the feminine and masculine within the marriage is an intrinsic element and must be maintained. Dr.
Schlessinger coaches couples to discuss what they have done to make each other feel like a man or woman and assists
them in developing respect for each others inherent gender rather than roles.
Consider; women are naturally nurturing. They bring emotion and beauty to the calculated and logical world of
man. When a woman cries, she says I feel things and thus allows others to feel with her. She can gently touch the
most hardened of souls and ignite warmth through her softness.
Men are naturally protective. Regardless of the athletic prowess of his female counterpart, they are the knights
which stand beside a woman and assist her need. Men have the ability to learn, analyze and develop strategies to
take on the biggest challenges in life.
They embody power, strength and a strong shoulder to lean on in moments of weakness. A man can conquer fear and
face life with courage and determination.
Both are essential to the element of marriage. If couples learn to appreciate the beauty of the genders, they
will ultimately promote mutual respect and admiration within the marriage.
Step 2: Differences in the Approach to Love
Every individual is programmed to love and therefore give love in very unique ways. There are 3 main ways which
people need to be loved. By learning the different styles, couples can begin to understand how they may have
misjudged what their partner ultimately needed in the marriage.
Knowing where you and your partner fit can assist you in reaching them the way they need to be reached and visa
versa. Each individual can be defined by one or more of these characteristics with their approach to love:
• Gift Giver
The communicator is someone who needs constant and stimulating conversation and dialogue with their spouse in
order to feel loved. If your marriage has reached a breaking point in communication and you or your spouse fall
into this category, there could be issues.
Because a communicator expects this sharing of thoughts and feelings, they may also provide this type of love
which may or may not be what the other person is looking for.
Some people need to be touched, kissed, held, made love to and ultimately given physical signs of attraction and love in order to feel connected to
their spouse. These people are generally themselves very touchy feely or perhaps began this way in the
relationship but shut down when the marriage began to have problems because they were not getting what they needed
from the partner. Affection can also be sweet compliments, longing gazes and simple gestures which state love.
A gift giver is someone who doesn’t always say how they feel, nor do they outwardly offer up tons of
affectionate display but they are very thoughtful. Gift givers show their love by purchasing gifts or giving of
themselves in some way.
Perhaps they sacrifice things in order for you to have something or they simply love to buy you things.
Regardless, gift givers may buy you flowers or give you a day off from the kids. Either way they are showing their
love and expect the same in return.
Step 3: Stop trying to be Right
If you truly want to learn from the simple steps to save my marriage, you will need to stop trying so hard to
always be right. Arguing, debating and disputing subjects whether factual or not are irrelevant in a successful marriage.
In order to find happiness together you both must learn to stop putting pride first, set your ego aside and
begin a journey of discovery together. This can be fun and doesn’t have to be as stressful as you think. Learning
about each other, how you think, feel and act can be an eye opening experience for couples.
Begin listening rather than compiling your next rebuttal to his or her statement. Examine things objectively
rather than emotionally. Try and place your instinctual reactions on hold and analyze situations with empathy
rather than finger pointing. If you are always defensive and have to be right you will never grow your
By following the simple steps to save my marriage and relationship, you will provide yourself a great place to
start a dialogue with each other. These top few things can transform your marriage into one that is appreciative
and harmonious if you adhere with patience.
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