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Prevent Divorce | Stop Divorce

Marital afflictions are a devastating result of modern day society’s view on the sanctity of marriage.

According to The Americans for Divorce Reform, between 40-50% of today’s marriages will end in divorce if the societal trends continue at current levels.

That is close to half of all marriages!

Compared to 1972 which was roughly 17%, we are talking about a significant increase in divorce rates. Unfortunately, going back in time is not possible so couples today must be aware of the common marital issues in order to stop divorce and insure a life long commitment.

Below are the top 3 reasons according to The Fact book: Pobronson.com why marriages end in divorce.

Communication Problems

69.7% of women and 59.3% of men state their marriages concluded due to communication breakdowns. Over time couples forget to openly share feelings, ideals and opinions. When communication fails one of two things has transpired.

Either couples have developed a pattern of negative communication which involves blame, aggression or emotional abuse when addressing daily issues or they have simply shut down and refrained from communicating at all. In either case, this leading cause for divorce should be seriously addressed and evaluated within marriages.

In order to improve communication, you should set aside time to share and talk. Regardless of whether the conversation is intellectual or mixed with emotional connectivity, speaking to one another can provide the opportunity to stimulate the marriage.

If you have difficulty conversing without arguing, try passing an object back and forth taking turns discussing a topic. The goal is to take turns not simply speaking but also listening to one another. Be able to repeat and relate what the other person has said before compiling a rebuttal.

If you have reached a point in your marriage where you are constantly trying to be “right” then you are missing the point of communication. It is never about proving your point alone; it is about understanding each other’s point of view. With an increase in understanding, empathy and discussion, you can ultimately improve the foundation of your marriage.

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Incompatible with Spouse

56.4% of women and 44.7% of men report this as the main cause for their divorce. While incompatibility is something you hope to catch before marriage, often it rears its ugly head later on. If you find your marriage on the rocks because you are not on the same page as your spouse, it is important to address the reasons.

Generally, serious incompatibilities arise in relation to differing views on: religion, politics, child rearing, finances and sex. Minor incompatibilities may relate to: likes, dislikes, interests, taste or style, opinions and family relationships. These are easier to fix.

The more serious compatibility issues are complicated because the belief systems are ingrained into each individual making it difficult to change. Each person holds true to their values which were generally derived from childhood and therefore consider it a part of their general make up.

To change this would mean they are changing everything about themselves which can be difficult. The best way to resolve these conflicts is to find a middle ground or accept the differences. If they are deeply important a compromise will be necessary in order for the marriage to continue.

For example, if one person wants children and the other does not, perhaps a resolution can come from fostering a child or having a foreign exchange student. While it isn’t the same as having a child together, it may offer temporary resolution. It should be noted however, childless couples are twice more likely to divorce than those with children. Also, the more children a couple has the lower the divorce rate drops for that particular marriage.

Unhappiness

59.9% of women and 46.9% of men report unhappiness as the root cause for their divorce. Of course this is a rather broad term to use statistically, it can be analyzed further.

What causes marital unhappiness then? For many couples it is a distancing which occurs and begins to undermine the foundation of their togetherness. When couples forget to share, express and find time for romance, unhappiness may ensue.

Ironically, while the percentage is higher for couples to stay together once they have children, it is also stated the happiness level of marriages decrease once children arrive. Thus children cause unhappiness?

Well, not exactly. What happens is an increase in responsibility and commitment and therefore higher levels of stress and anxiety which result in unhappy couples. It is not the children that cause this occurrence but rather the outlook of many modern day couples.

Children take away time, energy and romance and focus is no longer on the marriage but rather on the children. The result is marital neglect and a lack of strengthening of the vows the couples have made to each other.

In order to stop divorce, marriage must be strengthened. Almost worshipped in the sense that it should be valued and treasured above all else. Without a mutual dedication toward happiness and love together a marriage becomes stagnant and unnourished. Eventually one or both partners shut down or look elsewhere for connection and infidelity ensues.

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