Save Your Relationship

How to Save a Marriage on a Breaking Point

No doubt marriage is a lifelong journey which can often lead to a refined commitment or a tumultuous end. If you are seeking answers on how to save a marriage on a breaking point, you are most likely nearing the end of the line.

While it takes fortitude, resilience and commitment from both parties, a marriage can indeed be repaired and ultimately made better.

In order to save your marriage, you must first both sit down and decide the primary reason why your marriage is failing. Below are the most common reasons associated with serious marital problems.

• Communication Breakdown
• Infidelity
• Sex
• Financial Issues
• Family Crisis
• Unhappiness
• Incompatibility
• Midlife Crisis

Believe it or not, all of the above issues may be resolved if you are both willing to put in the effort. It won’t be easy and you won’t always be successful but over time if you learn to address the issues and work on the most positive results together you can achieve a renewal.

In order to do this you will need to first begin learning to communicate effectively. So many relationships end because partners stop listening, sharing or creating a positive dialogue meant for growth rather than attack.

At this point in your marriage you must realize you will not succeed unless you BOTH swallow your pride. Rid yourself of the desire to be right or win. Arguing is an unfruitful part of a relationship and generally results because individuals feel unheard or misunderstood.

Couples have a tendency of spewing their one sided view on a subject and then expecting acquiescence rather than compromise. This is where you must be studious and objective if you want to truly learn how to save a marriage on a breaking point.

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Whatever the situation, you must address it in a peaceful tone. You and your spouse will need to sit down in a quiet atmosphere (preferably somewhere public where yelling and escalation are less likely to occur) and begin to address the problem. Take turns speaking to each other expressing your point of view.

When one person ends, the other should repeat what was said and then evaluate their interpretation of what the other person said. Once you have both agreed on the meaning, you can then move on to the others point of view. This back and forth dialogue not only forces couples to clarify their own meanings but also encourages listening and understanding. The goal is complete empathy.

If you can put yourself in your partners’ shoes wholly, you will begin to see a marked improvement in the way you communicate with one another and your method will promote a more focused and healthy means of solving problems together.

The next step in improving your marital problems is to begin a succession of compromise. Figure out the most beneficial way to agree to disagree on certain subjects and compromise on the ones which you simply cannot agree with.

For example, if one of you feels your finances will be better spent on a retirement fund while the other is adamant you should be spending the money on enjoying life, you may need to compromise. Just because you have a knack for saving doesn’t mean your spouse sees life that way.

His or her view may be that money cannot be taken to the grave and you only live once. This may be an important life view to them. Consider the reasons for these ideals. One partner may have grown up in a household which was based in poverty and wants to insure he or she does not end up in the same boat while the other may have lived a life filled with childhood adventure and wants to continue in that route.

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Regardless, there is not a right or wrong, in fact both parties are correct and a compromise needs to be established. Therefore the best solution would be to budget x amount towards savings and x towards family trips.

While this is merely one example, it may be applied towards many obstacles faced in marriage. If one partner wants 5 children and the other wants 2 then certainly a compromise of 3 children could be reached. Regardless of the issue, without compromise in a marriage, there will be an eventual rift in understanding.

When it comes to broken trust and infidelities, the journey will be long and arduous in mending this significant breach in your marriage. Trust is the foundation of your entire relationship. It began the moment you first began dating and grew into a matrimonial commitment in which you both vowed to uphold. Once trust is broken, it takes great strides to rebuild but it can be done.

First you should begin a journey of forgiveness. Don’t expect forgiveness to come immediately upon request. No matter how much you beg, plead and try and make up for broken trust, it simply takes time to mend.

If you are the forgiver, keep in mind the sooner you are able to move past the breach, the sooner you may repair your marriage if this is what you wish to do. It is often difficult to know but over time and with commitment from both partners you can together earn each others respect back.

Learning how to save a marriage on a breaking point takes great patience and resolve from BOTH partners. Utilizing the vast resources you can find online for marriage help as well as speaking with marriage counselors, pastors or unbiased friends can assist you.

Be sure you are gleaning only positive information which is fair and objective. Always remember your goal is not to be constantly right or to prove your point but to be heard and understood as well as empathetic to your spouse. In the end you may come out of the crisis with a stronger, more secure future between you.

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