Save Your Relationship

Question Your Marriage

If you are normal, like the rest of the married folks out there, you have questioned you marriage. You have probably wondered if your marriage is a good one.

You have probably wondered if you two will make it another 20 years. It happens to both partners at different times, but it is very natural and really good to question you marriage and its status.

You can be married for 30 years and not have a happy, healthy marriage. So questioning where you are as a couple and where you want to be as a couple is good to do once in a while.

Now that you are questioning and examining your marriage you probably going to see some flaws within your marriage, which again is very normal. But what happens for some people is that they see the issues, figure there are too many to get fixed and end up getting divorced.

Where if they had just taken the time to explore the relationship further they would have seen that most of the issues are very fixable if both parties are willing to put in the time and effort to mend the problems.

How do you determine if your marriage is fixable? You need to ask yourself some questions and those questions will help you determine if your relationship is worth fixing.

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• Is it possible that you are thinking there are more bad days then there actually are? Keep track on a calendar and see, how many good versus bad and you can even rate the bad days.

• Have you already checked out emotionally? Or stopped even making the attempt to fight or work on your relationship? If so, can you muster up the energy to give it ago?

• Do you get physically violent with each other on any level at least once a month? If so, why are you staying in this relationship? Are you afraid to be alone?

• Are you so focused on the negative that you have forgotten about all the reasons you married your spouse? And if so, take some time and try to remember why you married him or her. And of those negatives how many really truly bother you, or are you just focusing on them because you are angry?

• Are there certain issues you and your spouse have just avoided? By not addressing them they are there lingering in-between the two of you, whether you ignore it or not. So why not address those issues and see if there is a way to resolve them.

• Has something major happened recently that could be throwing a wrench into the works? Perhaps one of you has lost someone recently, or a big birthday just passed, or another couple you know got divorced. All of those things can force us to re-evaluate and/or focus on all the negative things in our lives.

Finally, have you done everything you possibly can or is it possible that you may be contributing on some level to the issues going on? Have you really sat down with your spouse and talked about what is on your mind and in your heart? Is your partner willing to work on this too? If so, you have a shot at fixing your marriage, if you both want that.

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