Learn How to Heal Relationship Wounds
People all by themselves are not perfect. Now take two imperfect people and put them together in a long term relationship, what do you end up with?
You end up with two people who will have to grow and change together, who will without a doubt hurt each other,
and who will have to find ways to forgive and heal if they want to continue to be in that long term
Learning how to heal relationship wounds is very much like learning how to forgive in general. The difference
comes into play when we understand that relationship wounds do more damage, because there is more invested.
However, let’s begin there with forgiveness in everyday life. For example, when we meet someone and become
acquaintances or friends we open ourselves up a bit. Depending on the relationship will determine how much we open
ourselves up. And if that person hurts us in some way, how badly we feel will depend on what he or she did, but
also on how much we have opened ourselves up.
Keeping with that example, most of us are taught to forgive. And we are taught to do that for a couple reasons.
One reason is because we all make mistakes and if we accept that then we need to know we will make them too and
need forgiveness at some point. The other is by not forgiving we hold onto anger, resentment, etc... and that only
hurts us and keeps us from letting that go and moving forward.
Life is going to bring good people and bad people into our lives and how we handle that and what we learn from
it is what it is important. So the goal is to take something good from every person we encounter whether they stay
in our lives for a week or 10 years. By forgiving we can take the good memories from that relationship rather than
hold onto the negative ones.
OK so how does that translate in a relationship? Assuming you have a strong and healthy relationship you and your
partner are going to open yourselves up quite a bit to the other. When you do that and your partner makes a hurtful
mistake it is going to be painful. It is going to be hard to find the strength to forgive him or her.
However if you can forgive him or her you will find that you are stronger because you made the choice to
forgive. You will also show your partner that you understand life happens, and with that come imperfect humans
making mistakes and sometimes those mistakes hurt people we love.
Learning how to heal relationship wounds takes a basic understanding of how and why it is important to forgive
someone. If we can grasp and see that holding onto negative feelings only hurts us we will see why forgiveness is
By forgiving relationship wounds you help make your relationship stronger in the long run. And you show your
partner you understand, they are human and hopefully when you screw up they will keep that in mind.
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