Jealousy in Relationships And How to Resolve Them
We have all felt it, the pang of jealousy of: the kid who got to buy the greatest and latest shoes, the neighbor
who bought brand new siding and the parent whose kid was walking at 7 months, while yours was barely sitting
Jealousy is a part of life, sometimes it can be what pushes us to be better, and sometimes it can be what pushes
us down. Jealousy in relationships can be detrimental to the relationship if you are not careful.
Jealousy is such a general term that I think breaking it down would be helpful here, because you see there is
actually jealousy that isn’t harmful to a relationship, although there is plenty that is, so let’s break down a two
of the levels so you can see what I mean.
Healthy jealousy is a little jealousy can actually help a relationship because it makes the other partner pay
attention and not take their partner for granted. For example, if you two are out and she is dressed up and looks
great and you notice every guy watching her move with you.
She is with you, but you know others are attracted to her making you aware that she is choosing to be with you
and you better make it worth her while.
Unhealthy jealousy is a big problem when anger, aggression or violence accompanies the jealousy. Jealousy at
this point makes you question her about everything, not trusting that even if she tells you that she is telling you
the truth. You begin to obsess about where she has been and you want to know where she is at all times. And if she
even looks at another guy you flip out.
Jealousy in relationships can come from several places, one being past experiences. If you have had a partner
cheat on you or if you have ever cheated it may make you paranoid that your partner might as well. But the bottom
line is usually rooted in how you feel about yourself. If you aren’t confident about yourself and your abilities to
make your partner happy then you allow the jealousy creep in.
And once the jealousy has made its way into your mind it will consume you and your relationship sending it on a
very fast path to destruction. You will obsess so much that you will ruin whatever you might have had and your
partner may leave you just because of that, and you will never know what could have been.
One way to curb jealousy in relationships is to communicate your
worries to your partner and discuss with them what you are concerned about and why. He or she can then be aware
and hopefully more sensitive to that and reassure you through his or her actions that they want you and only
Another way is to respect yourself and what you bring to the table. If you are confident in who you are and how
you treat your partner then you have nothing to fear. It is when you question your abilities that you begin to run
Jealousy is present in most relationships at one time or another; it is how you handle that jealousy that will
determine if it is healthy or unhealthy.
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