Is Getting Back Together Always a Good Idea?
You know why you broke up, but you just can’t stay away. Now you are thinking about getting back
together and wondering to yourself, is this a good idea?
There was a reason we broke up. Will it be like it was before, or will things be better this time? All very good
questions and that is what we are going to address in this article.
First, let me begin by saying breaking up in itself will not necessarily damage your relationship. In some
instances, the break can help the couple re-group, re-focus and gain a different perspective that will allow them
to address the issues that caused the break up in the first place.
Second, on the flip side of that last statement, if you do not figure out what caused the break up in the first
place then getting back together will probably land you right back to where you were when you broke up. If you
don’t fix the issues that caused the break up then you have done nothing to fix and move forward.
So, how do you decide then if getting back together is a good idea or not? Making that decision is a mix of a
couple things. The first being, can you determine what the problem was? If you believe you fell out of love, then
you have to figure out why. Was it because he wasn’t meeting some need, or was it because you two argued all the
Second, I highly recommend a pros and cons list. Sit down and think about all the things you like/love about
your ex-partner. Now, do the same for all the things you do not like/love about your ex-partner.
Which list is longer? If the pros side doubles the cons side then there is some hope, but if it is the other way
around, I think you have you answer. Also, just because the cons list is shorter does not mean things will be great
the second time around. It just means maybe there is a chance.
Looking at the cons list are there any deal breakers there, meaning is there anything there you will not
tolerate, like your former partner drinking every night? However if there are no deal breakers and you think you
have been able to pinpoint the root of the problems you had and you are both are willing to work on correcting the
issues, then your relationship has a chance the second time around.
The last piece to the mix I was talking about earlier is, trusting your gut. I know that isn’t a black and white
answer, but it is essential. You have to trust your instincts here, and very importantly not your emotions. This is
very tricky for people because a relationship is full of emotions and sometimes you just can’t trust those emotions
and you have to rely on your instincts.
By using the pros/cons list, your instincts and knowing if you have been able to get to real issues the two of
you had you will be better able to decide if getting back
together is a good idea.