Save Your Relationship

How to Know If Your Husband or Wife is Having an Affair

If you suspect your spouse may be cheating, it is important to follow up on your intuition. More often than naught this gut feeling is not unwarranted and comes knocking when something seems amiss.

Learn how to know if your husband or wife is having an affair by following this simple checklist of things to look for before you confront them.

1. Behavioral Changes

Most cheaters will begin to show changes in their attitude or character. Some will give their spouse extra attention and gifts in the beginning of an affair just to compensate for the guilt they are feeling. After a time however, cheaters will begin to pick fights and lessen their interest in the marriage. This is because they want a reason to blame the affair on their marriage rather than taking responsibility for their actions.

2. Sexual Changes

If your sex life has shifted, this can also be a sign something is wrong. Sometimes the sex can become more frequent due to either guilt or fantasy. Sex can diminish as well since they are now interested in someone else.

If your partner shows odd behavior or begins to request different sexual favors or fetishes which previously didn’t exist, you may want to consider where these ideas are coming from. Your partner could be comparing you with their lover and playing a game to suit their own selfish fantasies.

3. Evidence

The easiest way to catch your partner cheating is to keep track of their personal finances. Checking accounts, receipts and credit card payments are ways to find out what they are spending money on while you are not around. Obviously if they are having an affair they most likely will be spending money on dinners, outings and possibly gifts. Check their wallet, glove compartment, car and pants pockets for receipts which are suspicious.

4. Time

Time is another indication of an affair. If your spouse has been coming home late from work or spending more time than usual away from home, they may be spending time with someone else. If they claim they have to work late, you can follow up by calling them at work or checking their pay stubs to see if they received the compensation. It is a good idea to get to know their co-workers at work so you can call and check up on them when you suspect they are not actually working.

5. Lack of Interest

If your spouse is showing limited interest in you or your home, future and dreams, there may be an issue. Generally when an affair occurs, the cheater will begin living a double life and find them drawn to the mystery and suspense offered by their lover. They will withdraw and take little to no part in the responsibilities of their home or family.

Also, a cheater will stop communicating with their spouse and won’t have much interest in their activities or feelings. They are no longer tending to the marriage but rather have another agenda and will lose interest in their spouse. This may start off as subtle and escalate or it may simply be something you notice as a pattern over time.

If you are asking yourself how to know if your husband or wife is having an affair you are already sensing something which should be addressed. Although it is possible you could simply be going through a few marriage hurdles, it doesn’t hurt to follow up on your instincts. You can look into these suggestions without letting your partner know.

It won’t help to accuse them without any evidence as they will simply deny it and you will be adding an element of contention, possibly unwarranted. If you do catch them in the act, you will need professional assistance to get your marriage back on track and instill trust once again.

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