How to Confront Your Partner to Settle a Conflict
Many relationships require a give and take agenda in order to handle disagreements and disputes. All couples
will go through periods when they may not agree on subjects and it can be frustrating trying to handle delicate
This is especially true if one or both of you have a tendency of becoming easily angered or defensive. Learning
how to confront your partner to settle a conflict is an important tool in any relationship.
While it takes time and patience to do this, it will ultimately improve your communication in the long run.
Things You Shouldn’t Do
Before beginning a dialogue which may turn into a confrontation, you should avoid any of these negative habits
or phrases when addressing your partner.
-Starting a conversation with “You Always” or “You Never” creates a negative reaction and causes the other
partner to recoil in your choice of extreme wording. It also takes away the hope that you have noticed other areas
where your partner is sometimes trying.
-Raising your voice or allowing the conversation to escalate to the point of anger will not resolve anything.
You both must remain in control of your emotions if you are going to work together at solving the problem.
-Placing blame is only going to cause your partner to feel attacked and defensive. You shouldn’t point fingers
or create more negativity by placing all responsibility on your partner. Relationships are two sided and you both
have to work to make it successful. Determining who is right or wrong should never be the goal of the
-Nit picking and bringing up every little thing that your partner does to bother you is unfair and causes
unnecessary strain on your relationship. Unless you are a perfect person without flaws, you should potentially let
go of some of your less important expectations.
Things You Should Do
-Begin your approach with love by saying, “I have something which has been bothering me and I was wondering if
we could sit down and see if we can work it out.”
-While discussing your conflict, try and take responsibility for your part in the problem.
-Ask your partner how they feel about what you are saying.
-Listen intently to what they are saying. Perhaps they simply didn’t understand your needs or were unaware they
were causing you disharmony.
-Find a solution together. Offer suggestions and ask if they would be acceptable. Always be willing to
compromise and negotiate in order to make changes and head in a positive direction.
-Keep things positive and reward your partner when they are receptive to your discussion.
-Thank your partner for hearing you out and listening to what you had to say. Clarify if they didn’t understand
but be patient as they try and comprehend your feelings.
Learning how to confront your partner to settle a conflict doesn’t have to be a daunting task. If you can
approach any issue with a loving and open heart, most things are easily resolved. Looking at situations which may
arise in your relationship as growing experiences rather than obstacles will give you a more positive approach and
create a pattern of good communication skills in the long run.