HELP! My Partner Won't Open Up To Me
When asked about the number one thing they would change about their partner, the majority of respondents said "I
want them to open up to me!"
So, you're not alone in your frustration with your partner's reticence to let you glimpse their inner self.
Communication is the basis of nearly every good relationship. Poor communication is often the cause of
What can you do if your partner doesn't open up? How can
you relieve the tension that is building between you?
You know how important personal sharing is, but what if your partner doesn't realize this? Worse, what if they
really don't care? What can you do then?
Communication is more than talking. It is listening to your partner. It is having a sense about their moods,
their body language and gestures. People who have been together for an appreciable time can sense things about the
other that most casual observers would never pick up.
When two people begin to establish an intimate relationship, they usually begin to open up to each other,
disclosing their innermost secrets and how they feel about many things. Sometimes, though, one of the partners is
not able to open up.
The cause of this failure can be from many different reasons and yet remains one of the most common problems in a relationship. A naturally
private nature, a traumatic childhood or a series of events that has left them mistrusting intimacy and openness
can be amongst the causes.
How can you overcome your partner's reluctance to open up? Patience and understanding will do for a start. It is
also important to let this person know how much you want to share your life and innermost self with them.
Intimacy is important to everyone. Research has shown that most adults regard their relationship as the most
important aspect of their lives. The feeling you are valued by your significant other is the keystone of most
In order to get your partner to open up, you have to first understand why they are so reluctant to do so. This
will require a candid conversation in which you make them understand why you think this is important to your
Sometimes just their understanding of its importance to you will do the trick. But, in some cases people are so
guarded about their inner selves, that they don't know how to unlock that door.
It is important that you show your partner how much you care for them and how open you are about yourself. Over
time, with enough affection and openness, the door should start to open.
Don't press them too hard for this intimacy. When they do begin to open up, be circumspect with the information
you glean. As the openness expands, be a good listener and don't interject any comments unless invited to do
The ultimate sharing in an intimate relationship isn't sex, it is the laying bare of your soul, your inner
person. Keep your emotions in check and be patient and understanding.
In quiet moments together, in a non-pushy manner, ask questions that require more than an affirmative or
negative response. Gently solicit information, similar to that which you have disclosed.
If your partner still has a problem with openness, suggest that you both seek counseling from a professional
social worker or your clergyman. Sometimes a third party pro intervention can do the trick.
If your partner has a problem with you attending the meeting, encourage them to go alone. Be supportive when
they show a desire to make a change and accept whatever you get from this, even though it may not be a lot at
Once the dam has been breeched, the trickle may become a flood, so be prepared. Hopefully, you will be
You can check it out here: http://savingthelove.com/SupremeSelfConfidence.html