How to Win Her Back After a Breakup
Most men make the mistake of assuming if he can fix everything, immediately, this is how to win
her back after a break-up. Not so.
Unfortunately we pesky females require a bit more cautious calculation than this. Generally it is best to
determine why the break up occurred and follow the advice below to resolve the initial damage.
Arguments Petty or Deep
Sometimes there are a number of repetitive disputes over one specific topic or one hefty argument over a
sensitive matter which makes or breaks the relationship.
Consider what it is you were fighting over. Is there a general theme? Often couples fight in order to drive
passion back into their relationships, i.e.: make up sex.
If there is a theme to the fights, for example; finances, friends or behavior issues, address those problems.
Start a conversation by saying, “I know we fought a lot about _____ and I am willing to compromise and hear your
Show her it’s possible for you to stand in her shoes. Most arguments escalate because one person does not feel
heard or understood. Give her examples of how you will be different during this important conversation.
A terrific tool used by many relationship experts and counselors is called “pass the salt”. Try taking a salt
shaker and sitting across from one another. Whoever begins speaking will hold the salt shaker and when they have
finished expressing how they feel will pass the salt to the other person. The other person must then repeat or
acknowledge what was said before offering their sentiments.
The conversation continues back and forth allowing each party to feel heard, understood and open. If you can
accomplish this together perhaps you will find away to win her back by showing her what an apt listener you can be.
She will certainly have relief knowing you are truly making an effort.
Lack of Friendship
When a relationship is new, there is a natural spark of curiosity. Getting to know someone in the beginning is
fun. It’s like playing a mystery game. Once the game is over, however, and cards are revealed, most couples forget
to continue with the curiosity. The friendship you once shared has faded and needs to be rekindled.
The best way to do this is to talk to her about something personal. For example, send her a message after the
break up to include something silly only you know. “Hey, I was driving by that goofy statue in the park and saw
your homeless buddy painting a mustache on his face. It made me laugh and think of you.
How are you?” The memory of her sharing this with you and you remembering will definitely strike a cord with
her. Women above all else want to know they are heard and the things they say and do are treasured.
Many relationships end because trust has, in one way or another, been damaged. While trust may be broken by
cheating, this is not the only way. Couples often lose sight of the importance in safekeeping each others sacred
and personal information. When arguments arise and harsh words are thrown like daggers, trust can diminish and
falter altogether. The friendship has been breached and both no longer feel secure.
Re-establishing trust is the most difficult in the process of how to win her back after a break up. Trust takes time to
develop and more time to build. Once it has been torn down, it will be a journey getting it back. It is possible to
do this however. The most important conversation to have is to find out what it will take for her to trust you.
Let her know you are aware of the ways you damaged the trust between you and express your utmost desire to
rebuild it. If you can sincerely convince her you want to try with her as your guide, she may just open up enough
to let you back in. Be prepared for her walls and be patient. She will let her guard down in time. Trust me; she
will know how hard you are working.
Everyone can become self centered now and again, especially females! If you are a man who has worked long and
hard at preserving your personal wants and needs, in spite of what she may have to say, you are potentially in the
dog house. I mean really, was it totally necessary to go out with the guys to the local strip club to watch Candy
or Star or Fantasy dance?
Do you truly think you would be less of a man in their eyes if you had just said no to the boys? And what about
that poker night scheduled on your anniversary? Was it worth the winning pot to miss your special day? It is
possible you may need to set your priorities strait?
Turn a new leaf buddy, if you want her back. Things better be all about her for awhile since you have purposely
ignored her needs over your own. At this point if you want to know how to win her back after a break up; start by
groveling and come up with the most thoughtful, considerate ways to make it up to her. Chocolate, flowers and love
letters are good but surprise romantic candle lit dinners and sparkly jewelry may be required at this point.
If you have narrowed down the confusing reasons for your break up from the list above, perhaps it is time for
you to get to work! Rebuilding takes time and effort but it certainly can be done.
Most girls are willing to forgive and love you again as long as you show them how worth it, you will be. Remind
them how well you know them with personal touches and memories. You will soon be on your way back into her
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