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How NOT to Get a Girl Back

In spite of what most guys think, trying to get your girl back should not involve desperate pleas, serenades beneath her window, and acts of suicide or crocodile tears.

While an apology may be necessary it is important to keep your cool. Below are things you should know about how NOT to get a girl back.

Hopefully this insight will help you to move forward and find direction in winning her back to your corner.


Okay guys, just in case you didn’t know, stalking is not cool! The last thing you need to do is turn into a creepy Quasimodo, following her around like a lost puppy dog. This is bound to make any woman run fast in the other direction. Stalking comes in many forms including: phone calls, text messages, Facebook harassment and physical shadowing.

Regardless of the methodology, try to remember if she wants to talk to you she will. Forcing her to be near you or hear your voice is not going to give her the space she needs and will only aggravate the situation. Keep in mind these varying forms of stalking before instigating conversation with her.

- Phone Stalking

When you were together it was completely normal for you to call her up all the time. Now that you are apart, it is better to not do this initially. Calling her to beg forgiveness, threaten her or call her names will only drive her further away. Have some class and keep your distance.

- Text Stalking

Similarly guys, texting her repeatedly, day after day, begging for her to respond will not bring her back. You will quickly become a nuisance and she may eventually change her number just so she doesn’t have to wake up to your incessant bothering.

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- Social Networking Stalking

Don’t tweet away about your undying love for her, don’t post photos of you together on her page, don’t beg and plead on her Facebook wall and whatever you do – DON’T harass anyone else she may be interested in. Not only would she block your friendship on her page but you will look like a lunatic to all her friends and family; possibly yours as well.

- Physically Stalking

Showing up at her favorite coffee jaunt, her best friends’ house, her workplace, school or basically anywhere else you know she will be is a horrible idea. You should never have to inject yourself back into her life. When she is ready to address the idea of a make up, trust me she will find you. Don’t sit outside her window ay night pining away or you may find yourself under a restraining order.

Pathetic Pleading

Although your heart may be shattered, your dreams crushed and your life feels over; whatever you do, DON’T let her know. If you truly want to know how Not to get a girl back, this is right up there on the list of no-no’s. A girl, by instinct is interested in a man who can be strong and protect her.

She is not looking for a snot nosed whiner who needs a consoling mother to attend to his heartbreak. Now, don’t get me wrong. A girl is happy to share your heartfelt inner thoughts but not before you win her back.

At this time you need to be strong and keep your tears for mom. If you want her to know you are remorseful, simply say, “I’m sorry and when you are ready I would like to talk about this or work this out”. Then leave it at that. Don’t harass her to make a decision about whether she wants to be with you or not. She most likely needs time to think.

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Personal Attacks

It is natural to be angry after a break-up, especially if you felt wronged. One thing to consider is if you are so angry, perhaps she is not worth taking back. However, calling her names when you see her with another man is not okay.

Posting derogatory comments on her Facebook page or telling her secrets will not win her back – Ever! Especially refrain, if the name calling makes you sound like a foul mouthed trucker. This is not something which will make you look like attractive material and will simply remind her of why she does not want to be with you.

Raising a Friends and Family Army

In a relationship it is normal to be close to each others family or develop fast friendships with shared friends. The thing is though guys, if they are Her family or were originally Her friends, chances are, they still are! Trying to convert them to your side of the dispute and raise an army to justify yourself by using her peeps will backfire.

Also, don’t be surprised when your secrets are not safe. In other words, don’t think your one night stand to get over her or the drunken binge will not make their way to her ears. Oh and that fire burning ceremony you have scheduled to burn her things? Yeah, they aren’t coming. Turning to your own friends and family may be better than burning the knitted afghan her great grandmother made.

Reconciling is sometimes a tough process but it certainly can be made easier if you consider how Not to get a girl back. By insuring you avoid these common mistakes, you have much better potential to reestablish a relationship and also are giving her the space she needs to make this determination on her own.

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