Save Your Relationship

Saving Your Relationship 7 Questions You Need To Ask Yourself

"The quality of a relationship is measured by how well it meets the needs of all those involved." I'm not sure to whom to attribute this quote, but it describes in the simplest terms the basis for any relationship. It should serve the needs of all those involved.

If your relationship is headed for the rocks, before you throw yourself into a rescue attempt, you need to ask yourself a number of questions. You have to know that any salvage efforts make sense.

One of the first questions should be, "Why do I want to be in this relationship?" Your answer could require a lot of soul-searching for the truth of the matter. Is the relationship purely physical or have you connected on a number of fronts?

Is there the promise of a deeper or permanent relationship in the offing if you patch things up? If you both have the same depth of feelings for the other, there may be a long term partnership or marriage in the future.

Another question that should come to mind is, "Do I really like (as opposed to love and lust after) and respect my partner?" When the passion fades a bit, you have to be connected to someone you like and respect for the relationship to develop any real permanence.

"What do I want out of this relationship and what does my partner want?" If you both want and expect similar things, then the foundation of a good relationship is started. If you both have different expectations, you are building on sand, not concrete.

When you write the specifications for the perfect mate, "How closely does your partner meet your specifications?" Are you settling for less than you really want? The second half of the question is, "How closely do you match your partner's specs?"

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Since there are other people in your life who are important, "What does your family think about your partner?" Do your parents like and respect your choice of a companion? What about your siblings and your close friends, how do they feel about him/her?

Sometimes people outside the relationship can see more clearly than those involved. Surely you have observed how your closest friends and family have reacted to your partner. You should consider the opinions of those who matter the most to you.

"Why is your relationship rocky?" Is it from the actions of either one of you? Did either one of you "cheat" or do something against the wishes of the other party? If one or the other of you has committed unpardonable acts, the memories of these could haunt any future together.

Suppose you had a limited magical talent, "What one thing would you change about your partner?" The second part of this question is, "Why would you make that change? Would you love them more? Would your relationship serve you better?"

In order to salvage your relationship and get your ex boyfriend back, you both have to want that, equally. The effort cannot be on just the part of one of you, but it must be a joint effort. All matches are not "made in heaven," so unless you both are willing to work at it, you may be doomed to failure.

A relationship is much more than the initial attraction (usually physical) and the love that develops. It is about connecting on many levels; intellectually, morally, spiritually and the sharing common goals.

If your relationship can stand the test of your questions, then maybe it will stand the test of time. You may be able to look back many years from now and think, "We made it work and it is good" not "what-if."

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