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Fixing a Broken Marriage

When the tumultuous wave of life comes crashing down on your relationship leaving you hopeless and shipwrecked you may be in need of a marital life jacket.

If this is the case, there are ways in which fixing a broken marriage can be achieved. Determining the root cause of your dilemma is an essential part of beginning to mend the disparity between you and this will be your first course of action.

Marital Conflicts

Most marriages fail for one significant reason or perhaps a culmination of compounding causes. In either case there is generally a solution to the problem if you are willing to work hard at change and development.

If you are both committed to saving your marriage, you will need to take a look at some of these conflicts to determine which category you most likely fall under. Don’t worry if there are several issues; simply follow the guidelines to help remedy the fractures you are experiencing in your marriage.

Trust

The most difficult conflict in a marriage stems from one or both partners betraying the other. This may come in many forms; infidelity, deceit or insult can attribute to lost trust. Trust is the most essential element in the foundation of marriage. Without it, a marriage will fail. Many couples have experienced this conflict and in spite of what you may think, it IS possible to fix this.

In order to undo betrayal, a couple must acknowledge why the trust was broken. If a spouse has lied or deceived the other, the reasons must be discussed and the betrayer must not only be apologetic for his/her actions but also willing to recompense in some way.

If something was said which caused a partner to feel insulted and therefore insecure in the relationship, this must also be brought forth and analyzed. With good communication skills aimed at solving the problem rather than placing blame, these things can be resolved.

Infidelity is a more difficult beast and will take much more time and effort to mend. One recommended step is to seek a couple’s counselor whether this is a therapist or church official who is experienced and knowledgeable in handling these fragile affairs of the heart. It takes time to get over the betrayal of adultery no matter the circumstances. If you both have patience and a willingness to forgive then this is possible.

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Disconnected

Many marriages fail because couples simply grow apart over time and forget to work on their connection. A feeling of apathy, boredom and lack of interest ensues and one or both partners no longer care what transpires between them. Going through the motions of duty does not a marriage make.

If you feel distance between you and your partner, you will need to address this issue. If you are both committed to fixing this problem between you, it shouldn’t be as difficult as you may think. Yes, you will need patience as by now a few walls have been put up to ease the pain of loneliness but it can be done.

The most essential part of bridging the rift is communication. Begin creating time to discuss, share and create together. Allowing openness to flow between you again will begin to deteriorate those routine resentments which have been building. Also, you need to establish the playfulness and romance you once had by introducing new experiences into your life. Get out of the check lists and explore the world together!

Constant Arguments

Most couples argue but if you feel your conflicts are escalating and happening more frequently, you may need assistance fixing a broken marriage or one on its way out. Some arguments are healthy and a natural part of human growth but if they become a pattern or happen all the time, you need to get to the root cause. First, determine whether you are arguing for the sake of arguing or whether you have very specific issues which arise over and over again.

Simply arguing because it’s what you do is an unhealthy way in which you and your partner are seeking passion into your life. You argue in order to feel something – anything! It’s similar to a child who throws a temper tantrum just to get attention. They know it will only get them in trouble but it is attention nonetheless.

You and your partner have created a pattern which if not ended will continue to escalate until neither of you feel anything whether you argue or not. To do this, begin finding more positive ways to experience passion and emotions. Having open communication, romance and spontaneous moments together will help you along.

If you have specific issues which come up all the time, you obviously need to address these immediately and come to a resolution. To do this, sit down with an open heart and bring up the issue in a calm and peaceful way.

Don’t be concerned about who is right or wrong but truly listen and empathize with the person speaking. Repeat what is being said to insure understanding and agree on the issues. From there, develop a strategy to make each other happy.

Be flexible as it may require one or both of you to compromise. After this is worked out, be patient. Over time as you both work on the changes you agreed to it will begin to work out and you will also have a more positive platform for future conflicts.

Although it may seem your relationship has to climb the highest mountain or swim the seas before relief will come, have faith and patience in each other. Fixing a broken marriage is never about who is right but rather about coming together as a team to repair damage you both have done. It is out of love and commitment you have decided on this path so always keep this in mind when working out your conflicts.

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