Save Your Relationship

Five Ways People "Let Themselves Go" In A Relationship

When the chase is over and the quarry is bagged, the hunter or huntress often begins to neglect the tools that brought their game to bay.

At this point, many people think the hunt is at an end and they had attained their ideal life and relationship. Once that happens, they let themselves go in the relationship.

Just because you have established an intimate relationship with a loving partner, it doesn't mean that you don't have to keep your tools polished and skills up-to-date.

Being comfortable with your partner doesn't mean letting yourself go completely.

Men are more prone to this behavior than women, because they don't have the peer pressure to look good and dress well. Buddies can go around in cut-offs and tank tops and think they are fittingly attired for just about anything.

Some women feel pressed to put on full make-up to go shopping at the supermarket. I knew one Southern belle who was fully made up to go to the health club and sweat it all off (but, that's Rule # 16 in the Southern Belle Primer).

Hanging out around the house in baggy sweats and flip-flops is one thing, but personal pride would seem to dictate that you clean up some, even if you're not going out.

Weight gain is one of the biggest bones of contention. The guy who develops a beer belly that hangs over his belt and his triceps sag worse than those of a certain porcine TV talk show hostess, is a real turn-off for romance with his sweetie.

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Then there is the sweetie who goes from size eight to plus sizes in what seems like a few weeks (but is probably several months or more), because she no longer gets any exercise chasing down her prey (the poor slob).

Another letting go in an intimate relationship is to no longer feel you should go out together. While you guys were romancing, dancing the night away was a twice a week thing. Now the only shuffle you do is off to the bathroom during commercial breaks.

When you were getting acquainted, you wanted to know about everything he or she did at work, at play and at rest (Rest? What rest?). Now it seems like neither of you couldn't care less what is going on with the other. Disinterest is another way of letting go.

There is nothing in the rule book that says when you become a couple that you should stop trying to attract and please the other person. What reason is there to ever let your relationship founder because you have neither the energy nor incentive to work at it?

The ways that people let themselves go in a relationship are many, but these five are what surveys pick up as critical areas of concern:

Physically - Gaining weight, getting out of condition.

Letting your control of bad habits slide - Body noises (you know what I mean guys), bad breath and body odors.

Becoming messy - Allowing your personal space to get cluttered, even dirty.

Personal Hygiene - Not keeping up with your grooming.

Disinterest - Losing interest in your partner's activities and interests.

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If you are really concerned about your partner's opinion of you, and if you have any personal pride, you should exercise your good habits and excise your bad ones. There is no excuse to be fat, lazy, uncouth, messy or unkempt.

With just a little bit of effort (the same effort you showed while dating) you can keep your relationship up by not letting go. Engage your partner in conversation, plan outings, workout together at the fitness center, take long walks in the park and develop mutual interests.

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