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Communication Tips for Dealing With Stubborn Partners

How do you win an argument with a person who responds to your well thought out, well presented case for a particular view, with "Uh-huh"? Answer: You don't.

In fact, why were you arguing with this person in the first place? The best approach is to not get into discussions with people who cannot understand your logic.

In personal relationships, the stubborn partner is one of the toughest situations with which to deal. How can you communicate with someone who won't listen to your reasoning, if they listen to you at all? After all, communications is the make-or-break issue in most relationships, whether personal or business.

The principles in dealing with difficult people never change. They are almost like the unchangeable laws of physics; water is composed of two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen, this will never change; gravity holds everything on the planet, this will never change.

Here are some tips on how to deal with stubborn people who are in personal relationships with you.

* Don't offer solutions - the more you push your suggestions at people, the more they resist.

* Don't tell people what to do - using phrases that begin with "you should," "I think you should," "this would be good for you to do," will only create a wall between the two of you.

* Don't use guilt - this is another major turn-off.

* Don't use complaining as a manipulative tool - as a complainer, you are the problem, not your partner.

* Don't use criticism - all this does is build even greater resistance.

When you are dealing with what you perceive as stubbornness in your partner, step back a pace and take a look at yourself. Are you sure that it is your partner that's being difficult? You may be part of the problem.

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A chronically stubborn person is rare. Usually it is something in your relationship that makes a person stubborn or difficult to deal with. It is possibly something you do or say, or your attitude that puts up the barriers.

Clear your heart and open your mind. Maybe it is something you did without realizing that has erected that wall of stubbornness. Keep an open mind on why they are being difficult.

Listen to their point of view. Let them express themselves as it may help you see why they are being stubborn. Listen to them honestly, actively and with empathy. Just the act of your listening may change their attitude.

Cherish your difficulties. Difficulties create conflict and this in turn creates change. If your relationship faces no challenges it would never evolve into something deeper and more meaningful. Your relationship can only get stronger as you deal with mutual difficulties.

Don't reciprocate stubbornness. If you react in kind, the only result will be even greater miscommunication. Bad behavior begets bad behavior. Understand and empathy begets understanding and empathy.

Don't blame the other person for being stubborn. The 'blame-game' never solved anything and fixing blame never fixed a problem.

Don't get too attached to your preconceived notion of the outcome of any discussion with your partner. Your rigidity will cause resistance in them and no communications will occur.

If you fail in communications with your partner after applying these tips, it is you, not the tips that have failed. These principles are the foundations for good communications.

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If you are having communication issues in your relationship, or just can't seem to get through the day without arguing with your partner, check out: