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Commitment Phobic in Men... Explained!

A man who has fear of commitment is every woman’s worst nightmare. A commitment phobic man is one who has all the qualities of a good husband but for some reason, he will not commit, or doesn’t show any signs of settling down.

Naturally, a woman will try to seek answers as to why her lover won’t commit. Somehow, you’ll feel more secure and stay hopeful even though what you may find out may not be so pleasing, for instance, he may just feel young or not ready for responsibilities.

However, most times, women get derailed as they try to seek answers to their man’s fear of commitment. To make matters worse, the available information on fear of commitment can seem confusing and at times it is conflicting.

One thing that seems to stand is that this information is almost always very discouraging and negative. Also, using ‘catch-all’ phrases (such as commitment phobia, fear of commitment, etc) doesn’t help to explain anything. Worse still, people who do experience commitment phobia do not fully understand it themselves. Here are some relationship tips to help you on this issue.

The Phenomenon

Commitment phobia or fear of commitment is mostly common in men. In fact, almost every man in cultures where loyalty and commitment-based relationships are appreciated has fear of commitment to some degree. It becomes problematic when the fear has escalated into a phobia and he eventually becomes commitment-phobic.

The biggest problem is that in most cases, it is not easy to tell that a man has been affected by this ‘condition’ until things have gone too far. So, how can a woman avoid wasting time and energy in a relationship that’s not getting anywhere? Is there anything that can ‘cure’ this condition?

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Commitment phobia explained

Traditionally, men felt a sense of security when women depended entirely on them. However, there have been numerous cultural changes and developments that have allowed women to prosper and gain some level of independence, and this has had some impact on that traditional perception of women that gave men a huge sense of security and confidence.

This alone, coupled with all the media drive on TV, the internet, tabloids and newspapers depicting modern lifestyles where women seem to be fully emancipated, is enough to shatter a man’ sense of security.

In turn, many men shun commitment and when they have to commit, they prolong it to their later years. A man will hardly commit if he feels his sense of security is threatened. Here are the other specific things that may cause a dent in a man’s sense of security.

Fear of losing freedom – Naturally, men are very independent and they think that way. Men love to live the way they want and make their own rules. When a woman comes into the picture, he’ll no longer have the freedom to do as he wants.

Bad experience – If a man went through some hurtful experience from a previous relationship, they’re likely to be reluctant to commit in a new relationship. For sure, betrayal can make it terrifying for a man to commit again.

Sexual adventure – You’d rather deny a man food than take away his freedom of sexual adventure. And a commitment will surely deny a man this freedom.

Not feeling ready – These days, there’s less pressure from friends and family to settle down. Additionally, he may have huge work commitments which may not make him feel ready for a commitment. Other men want to settle down when they feel they are financially well-off.

Having said all that, it’s important to note that reasons why men won’t commit may vary from man to man and according to different cultures. The best thing to do is to be straight with him from the start with what you expect from the relationship. If you lose him, it may be better for you than getting heart-broken after five years.

connect and commit

connect and commit

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