Are You In A Nagging Rut?
When you need to get the people in your life to do something, do you find that you sound more like a drill
sergeant than a partner in a relationship, a parent or a friend?
Is this a common occurrence? If so, it might be time to ask yourself if you are in a nagging rut?
Nagging is a very common problem in relationships that can lead to some
serious friction for both the nagger and the "nagee."
When nagging becomes a repetitive problem, it means your requests aren't being fulfilled. It can also mean that
the object of your nagging feels overwhelmed, isn't processing what you're requesting or simply isn't taking you
seriously any longer.
So, how can you tell if you're in a nagging rut? Here are a few warning signs that will help you answer the
question are you in a nagging rut:
* Making the same request repetitively - Do you have to ask your partner, child or
friend to do something over and over again? If you sound like a broken record, you may have a problem with
* Never getting a positive response - Even with repetitive requests, do you fail to get
them to respond? You may be hounding them so much they no longer hear the request. It could also be that the
approach isn't quite hitting home with them or they may not understand your urgency.
* Feeling like you're invisible - Do you feel like no one listens to you? Are you
frustrated? Can't figure out how to fix the relationship issue?
If these things are common in your life, you may have an issue that needs tackling. Are you in a nagging rut? If
so, you can try these things to bail out:
* Try phrasing your requests differently - Give your partner a list of things you need
done rather than asking one at a time before work in the morning or before bed in the evening. Better yet, create a
to-do list for everyone in the household.
Some people simply remember requests better in the written form and are inclined to "cross them off" by getting
them done. Make sure to cross off your "to do's," as well. This will show others in your life how much you actually
do on their behalf.
* Explain your needs and frustrations - Ask nicely for a task to get
tackled and explain why it's important to you. Honey catches more flies, as they say. This can work with partners,
friends and children.
If you find yourself nagging about the same thing over and over again, ask your "nagee" nicely why the issue
hasn't been resolved. Communicate and talk it out. Stay calm and ask for help in resolving the problem.
* Give some time to respond - If you answered yes to "Are you in a nagging
rut," it could be that you don't allow enough time for a job to be completed before you ask again. This can lead to
that "rut," or a viscious cycle where you ask, they fail to respond, you ask again and they get annoyed.
* Set time limits - Rather than say, "Honey, take out the trash," try "Honey, would you
take out the trash before dinner?"
* Analyze requests before making them - If you answered yes to "Are you in a nagging
rut," you may have yourself in a cycle where you nag about everything. Avoid this by sticking to issues that are
important when making requests.
* Find workarounds - If you are constantly nagging about toothpaste tops not being on or
toilet seats left in the wrong position, devise a workaround if nothing else produces results. Buy toothpaste that
stands up and doesn't necessarily require a cap. Designate a "his" and "hers" bathroom in the house if you have
Are you in a nagging rut?
You can get yourself out of it by coming up with better ways to open the lines of communication.
If you are a nagger, you will probably be suffering from low confidence issues.
To win back your confidence and quit nagging for good, I recommend that you have a read over: