6 Tips for Saving a Troubled Relationship
It's a rare relationship that doesn't go through some very serious challenges - challenges that can threaten to
tear the two of your apart.
Perhaps you are living with that gut-wrenching fear that your relationship is going to end if something doesn't
change very soon.
Or maybe you're afraid that your spouse or partner has already "checked out" - or even worse, is seeing someone
else behind your back.
Every situation is different and there are no easy answers. Is your relationship really worth saving? If you think
so, there are several things you can do that may seem overly simple, but can help to bring you closer and get
things back on track.
1. Communicate with your partner.
While this sounds obvious, it is amazing how many couples stop communicating, especially during troubled times.
One or both withdraw and refuse to talk, exchanging nothing more than barely civil superficial words on any given
Set aside time to talk about your relationship. Choose a time and place where there will be no interruptions,
and when neither of you has to rush off to do something else.
Let your partner know that you really value the relationship and would like to know what he or she is feeling or
thinking. Ask questions and be sure to listen and not interrupt.
Stay calm and be supportive. Don't play the blame game,
get defensive, or attack. It must feel safe for both of you if it is to be productive.
2. Change your expectations
Far too many people have very unrealistic expectations of their partner as well as their relationship,
especially marriage. Hollywood and fairy tales have given us idealistic images of perfect families and blissful
couples who waltz off into the sunset.
Sadly, real life doesn't work that way.
Let go of the expectation that happy couples never fight, that your spouse should be able to read your mind, or
that every day should be full of romance and excitement.
3. Look for ways to show appreciation for your mate.
As humans, we all have a deep need to feel valued and appreciated. If your relationship is in trouble it may be
that your partner feels taken for granted.
Pay attention and find opportunities to show gratitude. Leave a note in an unexpected spot and always say thank
you. Too many couples neglect these simple actions.
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When relationships are on the rocks it is not uncommon for one or both of you to feel insecure - personally as
well as in the relationship.
When is the last time you told your partner how beautiful she is or how great he is in bed? You don't have to
gush, but compliment your partner often and let him or her know just how wonderful, smart, attractive,
hard-working, etc, that he or she is.
5. Spend time alone regularly, doing something relaxing and fun.
This can be difficult when schedules are busy or you have children to tend to. But if you don't make your
relationship a high priority and make time for each other, you will only grow further apart.
Schedule a date night at least twice a month if possible. It doesn't have to be anything expensive or fancy, but
it will help you remember what if felt like when you first started dating and can be the key to getting close once
6. Don't forget to say "I love you".
Far too many couples begin to neglect these three simple, yet powerful words, when the relationship is in
trouble. If you haven't said them in awhile, it's time to start.
Don't expect your partner to reciprocate initially. Say it without expectation and be sincere.
Your relationship can be saved, but it must start with you!
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