5 Tips To Revive A Struggling Relationship
You are devastated that your relationship appears to be headed for a break up and neither of you really wants
that. How do you rekindle the flame in your
relationship that you both hoped would last forever?
Whether a relationship is called a partnership or a marriage, research has shown that most adults regard their
relationship as the most important part of their lives.
But, there are no instruction manuals on how to nurture and maintain a relationship.
Most people rely on trial-and-error to find the formula that works for them. If the errors are too big, the
relationship fails. Nearly half of all relationships fail for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is all
that trial-and-error learning period.
Relationships that do survive and flourish can teach us how to better manage the struggle on our own. What is
going on in that half of the marriages and partnerships that succeed? What can we learn from these successful
Social science calls it the "socioemotional selectivity theory." What this means in layman's terms is that
people prefer to spend time with people with whom they have the strongest bond.
The theory evolved by observing couples in their twilight years, but it was found that it also applied couples
of all ages.
Examine why you and your partner bonded in the first place. You came together for a reason. Together you should
recall your beginnings and attempt to recapture what it is that attracted you both then.
Try to maximize your positive feelings about each other. Push any negative feelings to the side and focus on
those things you like most about each other.
Deal with the negatives in a positive manner. Think of ways you can minimize the importance of the negative side
of each of you (and you both do have negative sides). Commit to changes or modifications of behavior or habits,
starting with the easy ones.
Older adults seem to have the best handle on dealing with relationships. As they near the end of their allotted
time, they cherish more their relationship and are able to put aside any negatives and live only in the positive
side of their togetherness.
Intimacy is important. People who actively strive to maintain the intimacy in their marriage or partnership have
more gratifying interactions with their mate or partner. This encourages the feeling of value in each other.
Spend enough time together. You bond grows stronger from shared interests. Schedule time to do all of the things
you enjoy together; movies, dining out, camping, hiking, working out, attending parties, entertaining and
particularly things you do, just the two of you.
Develop new mutual interests. Plan and engage in new activities that you both will enjoy. Travel to new places,
join a new social or service organization, take up line-dancing, buy season's tickets to the symphony, go to a
music concert, and take up a new hobby or craft.
Surprise them with a mystery gift or date. This works particularly well for a man who is trying to rekindle the
relationship with his wife/girlfriend. Completely surprise them with a date or gift.
The mystery date is probably the best surprise a man could conceive; hire a limousine and whisk them away to a
really great restaurant for a wonderful meal. Cap it off with a night of dancing and then off to a luxury hotel
A champagne breakfast would really show that you are a romantic fool about them. They should feel like a
princess after this event.
It's really all about connecting and reconnecting those synapses that brought you together in the first place.
Sure, it may have begun with a physical attraction, as most relationships do, but it grew beyond that. Recover and
relive the bonding process, once again. You will be surprised at how this will change a cold love into one that is warm again.
The practice of bonding anew will be something that you may perform a number of times over the years. Each time
it will make your relationship stronger and stronger and more enjoyable for both of you.
A wise man once wrote, "The quality of a relationship is measured by how well it meets the needs of all those
If you and your partner NEED a quickfire way to revive your relationship, I suggest that you check out
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